“Is there no respect of place, persons, nor time in you?”
 William Shakespeare

Tagline: Investigating respect not as an attitude but as a state of mind and mechanism of self-extension.


An old story tells of a man that when asked why he took the life of another replied:” because I can!”. We can of course be both respectfull and disrespectfull, that is our prerogative as humans, and yet when asked why I choose respect my answer is similar to the one in the old story: “Because I can!”

I have chosen to write about respect because I firmly believe that we, humans, have a fundamental problem with respect. Moreover, it is my view that with the advent of the technological modern era we are living in (and the coming tech singularity), the need for respect has increased and is increasing in importance by the moment, so a fresh and updated understanding of what respect means is necessary. Finally I truly think that we are and indeed may become better humans (and can create a better future) by using respect as a foundation for our relational understanding and being respectful beings as the default option of our behaviour (both online and offline).  

The story of respect is as long and as complex as humanity’s consciousness, we crave it, we long to have it , to , in a sense posess it and in many cases we love giving it; we feel better when we are respected, we are more confident when respect is around and above all respect allows us the freedom to feel located in life. In many cases (more than is commonly acknowledged) respect takes precedence in desire over love, power or money or indeed status, respect in the modern world is one of the most (if not THE most) sought after quality and designates that which we ultimately call integrity.

But what exactly is respect?
Respect comes from the Latin word respectus which means the act of looking back, or alternatively looking again, observing again, or basically, in my own simplistic words: “take a second look and don’t be familiar”.

There are many ways to understand what respect really means and it is true that nowadays respect is considered as an attitude more than anything else. An attitude of respect implies according to the wikipedia the following: Respect is an attitude of acknowledging the feelings and interests of another party in a relationship, and of treating as consequential for the self the helping or harming of the other. Though most commonly referring to interpersonal relationships, it can be used between animals, groups and institutions including countries. Respect does not necessarily imply deference, but a respectful attitude rules out unconsidered selfish behaviour.

So first let me state my case: to my eyes, respect is not an attitude but a state of mind. And that is the problem, for if we treat respect as an attitude we loose the strenght of the impact, the emotional impetus and the intellectual integrity respect engenders when it is treated as a state of mind.

Whats the difference? you may ask. And to that I shall reply that respect seen as an attitude implies that respect can be inserted or taken away without in the least influencing the person, the circumstances or indeed the direction of the evolution of mind of that very person.
It is my view that respect when treated as a state of mind reflects the meaning application of the individual and the community he or she exists in. Respect when viewed as a state of mind allows new spaces to be created in one’s mind; spaces that can be used to incorporate new ideas, fresh insights, possible new visions and new paths of actuation but above all, respect makes possible the creation of the new whilst upgrading\updating the old, the known and the casual.

We may thus redefine respect as a state of mind in the following manner: respect designates the accomodation or space we allow in our minds for an “other”’s existence -an “other” here stands for anything- an object, a person, an idea, a technology, a different life form etc. that is not inherently defined as “me” “myself” “my existence” etc.

It is a given here that the state of mind we call respect is finite, if only because the amount of space we may allow for an “other” is a subset of that which is “me”.
But what if we could expand the “me”, “my mind” “my brain”, “my capability”, “my life span”, “my energy”, “my understanding” ans so on? Wouldn’t it automatically expand the space of accomodation for an “other”?

To me the answer is a resounding yes! The very purpose of increasing my capacity as an intelligent conscious aware mind is exactly this, to be able to respect more, which translates into: to have a larger space into which I can accommodate all that is, and all that will be, ad infinitum. Ultimately accomodating all life, all love, all understanding, all intelligence.

That is how I view evolution of the mind (to which the coming technological singularity is only a tool), as an ever expanding space of accomodation of an “other”, the “other” being all that is not “YET” me, respect in this sense is the ultimate form of affirmation, the climax of saying YES to life, to ourselves and to all that is of beauty and intelligence, to all that evolves.

As I see it, respect is a term we have invented as a representation of an energy balance game we are playing within our minds; a method of prioritization, if you like, hence the more we respect something or someone, the higher the allocation of resources we give to that same something or someone and by implication the higher the degree of influence we allow for that particular “other”. Finally the higher the respect the greater the size of the space (and energy) we give in our minds (and lives) for that “other”.

The Next Step

Respect connects the different dimensions of our reality into one coherent whole that is synchronized and tuned to our well being.
The harmonization brought about by respect is crucial for our sanity and integrity; the harmonization that respect creates in us as conscious aware minds allows our desire to become greater than what we are to come to fruition. Thus in a manner of speaking respect is also an ability and an acquired trait of character.

Respect can be seen not only as a state of mind but as a mechanism of the higher faculties of the human mind; a mechanism that has for purpose the integration of the diverse faculties of the intelligent conscious aware mind into an integrated whole, hence the correlation to integrity.

As a mechanism of integration, respect may also be said to be an evolutionary aspect of the mind, a necessary ingredient for intelligence to be consistent with its emotional tendency to overeach.
In the above context respect can also be seen as a normalizing factor, a factor that binds together our various efforts of uplifting ourselves, our feelings and desires, our dreams and our visions.

From a different perspective respect may be looked at as the capacity of our minds to self-extend into space, into time and into virtuality. The understanding of respect as the capacity of self-extension may best be seen by reflecting upon the fact that when we respect an “other” we create a space that was not there before, a mind space into which we pour both ourselves and the “other”. This “respect space” may become a space of fresh fertility and intelligence, engendering the energy needed for our mind evolution.

Summation

So, yes, respect is both simple and complex, it is both a state of mind and a mechanism of self-extension, it is simultaneously an effort of accomodation of an “other” and the intimate and unconditional acceptance of oneself. Respect is the foundation of integrity and free will, it is the very basis from which we may become more intelligent and indeed better humans.

We need “look back” again as the original meaning of the word intends to see that respect to an “other” IS  in fact self respect. 

Never take existence for granted, not yours and not the existence of an “other”, for without it, we are lesser beings, for though we have to ability to choose otherwise, it is the choice of respect that defines our greatness and our evolutionary direction.



“To be sensual, I think, is to respect and rejoice in the force of life, of life itself, and to be present in all that one does, from the effort of loving to the making of bread.”
James Arthur Baldwin
 

cross-posted with the fast turtle